


Am I Even Wanted?

by MirkwoodsLight



Category: Supernatural
Genre: American Hunter Bashing, Cheating, Crying, F/M, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, right in the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 12:52:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16388084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirkwoodsLight/pseuds/MirkwoodsLight
Summary: Often when a woman looks into the mirror, they wonder if they are becoming too old for their partner. They wonder if the wrinkles that are starting are enough to send their partner running for the hills. It is a common thought, it is a common question. Am I getting too old? Hundreds of questions follow. Will he/she leave me for someone younger? Will I not be enough one day? Am I enough?Am I even wanted?But right now…as I look into the mirror, I wonder the opposite. I don’t have starting wrinkles, not yet. I don’t have sexual experience, not enough anyway. Am I pretty enough? Am I not old enough? Is that why this has happened? Am I not enough now? Was I not enough then?Am I even wanted?





	Am I Even Wanted?

**Author's Note:**

> I own Noella Birmingham, her family, and her life. The rest belongs to the writers and creators of Supernatural.
> 
> Okay, so...I did write this instead of sleeping. This is the first work of my page. I have written other things before on another account of which I shall not mention due to the fact that it is honestly trash.  
> Right now, I am unsure if I will be adding anything to this work, it may end up being a short thing. I want to write smut, like, a lot of it. But that may happen later on so stay tuned to my page.  
> You may read now.
> 
> Leave Kudos and Comments my loves!

 

Often when a woman looks into the mirror, they wonder if they are becoming too old for their partner. They wonder if the wrinkles that are starting are enough to send their partner running for the hills. It is a common thought, it is a common question. Am I getting too old? Hundreds of questions follow. Will he/she leave me for someone younger? Will I not be enough one day? Am I enough?

**_Am I even wanted?_ **

But right now…as I look into the mirror, I wonder the opposite. I don’t have starting wrinkles, not yet. I don’t have sexual experience, not enough anyway. Am I pretty enough? Am I not old enough? Is that why this has happened? Am I not enough now? Was I not enough then?

**_Am I even wanted?_ **

****

* * *

 

****

I heard it, her moans. I heard her crying out his name in ecstasy. How could I not have heard her? I was in the next hotel room over. Neither of them knew. I was going to invite him over for drinks and some cheesecake I brought from England, the kind he likes that was infused with an old Irish Butterscotch Whiskey.

I checked out right after they were finished, having drunk a whole bottle of old Scotch. I found a crappy motel and drank another bottle before crying myself to sleep…

Two weeks later…now… I finally got a call from him. Arthur Ketch. The man I loved…I can’t say _loved_. I still love him. I can’t kid myself.

“Noella, I was just informed you were in the States. Why didn’t you tell me love?” My heart just broke even more. I took a moment to collect myself.

“I was thrown right into a case by the old man. Apparently, he believes that I am ‘worthy’ enough of acting like an American Hunter. Lobbing off heads and asking questions later.” There was a bitterness in my voice as I spoke of American Hunters. But I knew Arthur would not think anything of it. My story was true, the old man did send me right into the midst of a Vamp nest with nothing but a machete.

“Did you bring any of our cheesecake? Perhaps some scotch we can share, say… tomorrow night?” ‘Our cheesecake’. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. It was an old family recipe I made at least once a week at how fast Arthur would eat it. We had been living back in London for nearly three years now. I met him back at Kendricks Academy when he was still dating Antonia Bevell. We didn’t start any sort of relationship until I was Twenty. We have been together nearly 8 years now. So how...why?

“I did, but I may have eaten it. And I may have drank the scotch. It has been a stressful few weeks. I’m sorry darling. I can make some more or maybe have Lidia ship some over. We can still meet tomorrow night though, right?” He was silent…I knew he was judging me. Probably thinking that I was just like a pathetic American Hunter, drinking until half drowned and eating until stomach near busting…but hey. It seemed like he was into that now.

“Actually, I just got a message from HQ. I believed I was free tomorrow, but I am not. Sorry my dear. Perhaps another day. I need to be going.” Powder, my heart was ripped form my chest and put in a mortar and pestle, the crushed into powder. I knew he had gotten a message from her. I had tapped his phone after that night.

“Alright, you will message me though, right?” I tried my hardest to not sound disappointed, but it sept through my words as if they were merely a sponge.

“Of course, I will.”

“I love you…”

He hung up.

I broke down.

**_Am I even wanted?_ **

 

 


End file.
